Remembering a friend


Couple of days back, I woke up to the extremely disturbing news of the passing away of a dear friend of mine in what seems to have been a freak accident. When a day or a week starts off on such low extremity, it takes nothing short of a miracle to look upwards from there on. I’m still gathering my thoughts and trying to do so before they spiral out of control. It’s turning out to be a lot harder than I had thought it would be.

While death is perhaps the only certainty in life, it’s also the most painful. This one is particularly painful because of my close ties with the person in question and also more glaringly, the seeping feeling of injustice at the untimely nature of it’s occurrence. But if you look beyond all this, at a distance, I think it’s possible to cherish the good times we’ve shared.

As with most youths in their early twenties, we had more problems than solutions and more friends than companions in our lives. This meant that, by accident or choice, we often shared personal grief with each other and tried to draw strength somehow. We seldom arrived at any solutions but always felt reassured. It soon became a way of life. Because of all this, it was a pushover to enjoy the little joys of life, every now and then.

Just when I was beginning to maybe start taking a few things for granted and develop a certain outlook of life based on my scanty experiences, I’ve been delivered a timely yet painful reminder of everything I’ve known about life. Nothing !
I have to say life hasn’t been particularly kind over the past few months. I’ve had to ride multiple waves of setbacks and with this latest incident, there seems to be no letting off anytime soon.

That said, I’ve learnt to take a distance from my problems. Often times, the most touted route is to look at the insignificance of any problem in life in the face of mortality. Turns out I’m not the only one who shares this ideology. It also presses home the idea of not dwelling on things that haven’t been and instead being grateful for the things that have been. Axiomatically, it’s easier said than done but all we can do is try.

I’m moved by the inexorable outpouring of love and affection that has followed his demise – I think it’s the least that he deserves. I’m also thankful to the precious little support and empathy I’ve received to help me come to terms with this loss. At a time when words count for so little, yet so much, all I can say to my dear friend is, thanks for everything. It’s been truly memorable.




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